I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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