So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
