I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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