Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
