Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
