my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize