At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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