Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
