the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize