do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
