After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
i think im in europe. pls send help
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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