Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
