Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
