we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
