loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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