Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
