Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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