whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
