super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
