Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize