Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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