hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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