Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
