I think my vagina is haunted
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize