ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
