He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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