he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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