why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
