...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
