He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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