it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Found your dick twin last night
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize