ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
it glows. i had to have it.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
