I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He better not be in your backpack
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
