my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
