So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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