just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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