i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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