Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
