That's intense
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
