I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
