xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
