its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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