I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
