he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
There's even glitter on my cock...
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