bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize