He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
