physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize