I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
