Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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