You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
