I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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