So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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