i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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