wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
