then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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