it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Everything about him screamed your future.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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