You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
