I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
We named our party play list daddy issues
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I enjoy the company of your penis
tell me about the eggs
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
