He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
