He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize