i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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