Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
