will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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