I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
