Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
