i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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