Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
